We received some interesting e-mails during the past few weeks.
Here are some little jewels that came to us from readers as far away as North Carolina and Oklahoma.
Classic: (A Donkey Story).
Morris, a city boy, moved to the country and bought a donkey from an old farmer for $100. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day. However, when the farmer drove up with the animal, he said: “Sorry, but I have some bad news. The donkey died.”
“Well, then, just give me my money back.”
“Can’t do that. I went and spent it already.”
“Okay, then. Just unload the donkey.”
“What ya gonna do with him?”
“I’m going to raffle him off.”
“You can’t raffle off a dead donkey.”
“Sure, I can. Watch me. I just won’t tell anybody he’s dead.”
A month later, the farmer met up with the city boy and asked, “Whatever happened with that dead donkey?”
I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars apiece and made a profit of $988.”
“Didn’t anyone complain?”
“Just the guy who won. So, I gave him his two dollars back.”
Words of Wisdom:
My next house will have no kitchen—just vending machines and a large trash can.
My mind works like lightening. One brilliant flash and it’s gone.
A husband is someone who after taking the trash out, gives the impression he just cleaned the whole house.
The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you’re in the bathroom.
In the digital computer world, people talk about “real time,” such as how files can be transferred or pictures can be rendered in “real time.”
When I hear this phrase coming from an 18-year-old computer sales manager, I can’t help but think he needs more information. So, here’s a short list of what “real time” is:
These days a lot of emphasis is put on doing things quickly. Don’t be fooled. Here is a list of situations where accuracy is far more important than speed:
Top of the morning!