We received some interesting e-mails during the past few weeks.
Here are some little jewels that came to us from readers as far away as North Carolina and Oklahoma.
Classic: (A Donkey Story).
Morris, a city boy, moved to the country and bought a donkey from an old farmer for $100. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day. However, when the farmer drove up with the animal, he said: “Sorry, but I have some bad news. The donkey died.”
“Well, then, just give me my money back.”
“Can’t do that. I went and spent it already.”
“Okay, then. Just unload the donkey.”
“What ya gonna do with him?”
“I’m going to raffle him off.”
“You can’t raffle off a dead donkey.”
“Sure, I can. Watch me. I just won’t tell anybody he’s dead.”
A month later, the farmer met up with the city boy and asked, “Whatever happened with that dead donkey?”
I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars apiece and made a profit of $988.”
“Didn’t anyone complain?”
“Just the guy who won. So, I gave him his two dollars back.”
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Words of Wisdom:
My next house will have no kitchen—just vending machines and a large trash can.
My mind works like lightening. One brilliant flash and it’s gone.
A husband is someone who after taking the trash out, gives the impression he just cleaned the whole house.
The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you’re in the bathroom.
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In the digital computer world, people talk about “real time,” such as how files can be transferred or pictures can be rendered in “real time.”
When I hear this phrase coming from an 18-year-old computer sales manager, I can’t help but think he needs more information. So, here’s a short list of what “real time” is:
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These days a lot of emphasis is put on doing things quickly. Don’t be fooled. Here is a list of situations where accuracy is far more important than speed:
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Top of the morning!