Wrinkles add character.
That’s what I always told my teenage students when they asked,“Mr. B, did you ever NOT have wrinkles?”
No, I was born with some of them, I say. The rest of them I got from you.
Wow! That’s the coolest!
I say wrinkles add character because—just think about it—Clint Eastwood made a fortune off his leathery features that resemble a Martian landscape.
Dean Martin had crows’ feet around his dark eyes that enhanced his facial features even more on screen.
But wrinkles do not necessarily add character to the opposite sex.
That’s why women spend a lot of money on beauty treatments and skin lotions that slow the aging process. And since women often outlive their spouses 10 to 20 years, it’s a good idea to invest in practically any new treatment that offers a spark of allure.
Men, on the other hand, don’t usually make a fuss over their appearance after they pass age 40. That’s why I think men are generally happier and more amiable as they get older. Women often become cynical and critical.
Here are some reasons I think men are happier than women:
• Your last name stays the same.
• The garage is all yours.
• Wedding plans take care of themselves.
• Chocolate is just another snack.
• Car mechanics tell you the truth.
• You can wear a white T-shirt to the water park.
• You don’t have to stop and think which way to turn a nut or bolt.
• People never stare at your chest when you are talking to them.
• New shoes don’t cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
• One mood—all the time—unless you are on Prozac.
• Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds.
• A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
• You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
• If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
• Your underwear is $8.85 for a three-pack.
• Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
• You almost never have strap problems in public.
• You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
• Everything on your face stays its original color.
• The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
• You only must shave your face and neck.
• You can play with toys all your life.
• One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color for all seasons.
• You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
• You can do your nails with a pocketknife.
• You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
• You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on Dec. 24 in about 15 minutes.
• You never have to worry whether pants will be appropriate dress.
• You only need one soap source for a shower
• You never have to wear socks because your legs aren’t tan.
• One bathing suit will last for years.
Okay, I can already feel the heat from some of the female readers who say the list is not fair.
So, if you think it’s unfair and if you think you can come up with a list of why women are happier than men, go ahead and send it to me.
My e-mail address is: johnnieblankenship46@yahoo.com
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Top o’ the morning!
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