For the past couple of years, I’ve kept a log of the telephone calls, e-mails, letters, cards, and conversations that begin, “Why don’t you write about…?”
The following are some excerpts from that list.
• “I keep trying to get the governor on the phone, but he won’t answer. Can you help me?”
• “I know an 8-year-old who can juggle. Do you know anyone younger than that who can juggle?
• “I have worked as a bouncer at a strip club for two and one-half years. You should follow me around for a few hours.”
• “You should write a story about my aunt who got an eviction notice because she has too many cats.”
• “Have you ever done an article on someone who delivers and services porta-potties for a living?”
• “You should write about the guy who carries a sign around his neck saying he will work for food. He considers it a bad day if he gets less than $150 in contributions. You ask him to work, and he looks at you like you are crazy. Somebody even went out and bought the man a $75 coat. What are people thinking?”
• “You should write a story about the dog that lives down at the truck stop.”
• “When are you going to come out to the big wiffle ball tournament we have in our yard every summer?”
• “Someone needs to investigate the reductions in my monthly checks.”
• “You need to do an article on the declining number of buglers. You can hardly find one to play Taps at a funeral anymore.”
• “Somebody should do a story on my ex-boyfriend who has been under a 13-month investigation for operating a meth- amphetamines lab that makes illegal drugs. I shouldn’t have suffered for what he did. I can’t pay my rent.”
• “There are two white squirrels that play in the trees near my home in Grandview. Somebody should put them in the newspaper.”
• “A famous Las Vegas singer and entertainer grew up in the Fireco area of Raleigh County. You should do a story on him the next time you see him.”
• “Did you ever stop to think how little, small town law enforcement officers get paid for their services? You should try it sometime and see how you like it.”
• “We have a gun club that gets together on Saturdays. You should come out and watch us shoot sometime.”
• “I am trying to find the lady who called me last year about selling a coon hound. I am still interested but I lost her phone number.”
• “Can you tell me what time the 6:30 bus leaves the bus station?”
• “My girlfriend has foot odor. What can you do about it?”
• “What ever happened to the hot dog lady in Mullens? She had the best buns in town.”
• “Why don’t you do an article on home brew? It seems that nobody knows how to make it anymore.”
• “Have you noticed the bright lights in the sky at about 8 p.m. Can you find out what they are and write an article on it?”
• “Parents used to give their kids worm medicine. Not too many people do that anymore. Is it because worms in children are no longer a problem? Or is it because their parents just don’t care?”
• “My son-in-law is looking for a job, but he can’t seem to find one anywhere. Meanwhile, he and my daughter and their kids have moved back in with us. It’s tough just to keep enough bologna and mustard in the fridge, or enough toilet paper in the john. Why don’t you write a story about the lack ofemployment for young people in the area?”
• “Where is the best place to buy Vienna sausages? I’ve noticed that the price has gone up lately. Is that due to the price of gasoline? I’d like to hear about that.”
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Top o’ the morning!
