Clichés.
Trite and overused language that says nothing and does nothing new.
Yet we hear it every day at schools, offices, shopping malls, restaurants. Here is a sample of how clichés get tossed around in conversations wherever folks gather to discuss local events. Take the recent general election, for instance:
Let’s get down to brass tacks. It’s been raining cats and dogs lately.
But I’m not interested in another cock-and-bull story. I want to talk to someone who knows the ropes, who wasn’t born yesterday, who won’t pass the buck.
The election was in the bag. But something went haywire. Everything went up the spout.
Most of the candidates are cooling their heels by now.
Some probably felt they were sold down the river, especially since they seemed to be riding a high horse on the day of the election.
What gets my goat, though, is that everything played out to a T.
And you’ll have to admit, it was funny as a barrel of monkeys.
The voters made them pay through the nose.
Campaigners felt left in the lurch. They were kind of up the creek without a paddle.
The other party proved it could bring home the bacon. Why? Well, that’s the $64 question.
And yet, much of the rhetoric turned out to be the same old sixes and sevens.
“I would take all of this with a grain of salt,” one local politician was overheard saying to his constituents recently. “After all, it isn’t worth a Continental.”
That’s the ticket.
According to a source near a California singer renowned for her brunches and lunches, “The nation’s politics has gone to pot. I’ll never eat crow even if I’m never invited back to the White House. And don’t think it’s just sour grapes. They should never have looked this gift horse in the mouth. I’ll never go whole hog again for anybody. This administration is just a flash in the pan. They’ll peter out soon enough.”
She added, “I’m not working for a song and singing it myself. They won’t catch me with my pants down. They can’t pull the wool over my eyes. I didn’t just get off the boat.”
Other supporters were prancing around like a bull in a Chinashop. “Looks like someone intervened in the nick of time,” said one conservative. “I think it’s time to bury the hatchet and get on with our country’s business.”
Still another observer said: “Our goose is cooked. In fact, they’ve upset the whole applecart. We’ll never return to those halcyon days. And before it’s over, see if they don’t read us the riot act.”
It appears that some just didn’t want to swap horses in midstream, even if the party members are playing to the gallery. “They managed to let the cat out of the bag this time,” offered one unhappy camper.
“And now they are going to take a ride unless they’re willing to jump on someone else’s bandwagon.”
It looks like it was the wrong time to announce they had a bone to pick with their opponents. During the campaign, they only gave their platform a lick and a promise, anyway.
Doesn’t it take the cake, though?
All some of the candidates did was stand around and shoot the bull. But they’re just flogging a dead horse, now.
Some of the incumbents jumped the gun and got stabbed in the back election day.
They looked like a wolf in sheep’s clothing to the voters.
“I wouldn’t stick my neck out just yet,” one critic said, however. “Some have swallowed the bait hook, line, and sinker. But you just wait and see, they’ll lay an egg yet. Somebody is going to turn the heat on. And we’ll see who is left holding the bag.”
Anyway, it’s nothing to get all balled up about.
After all, there’s more than one way to skin a cat. “They bought a pig in a poke, if you ask me,” another observed. “It happens once in a blue moon.”
Still, it’s tit for tat. Both candidates were a chip off the old block.
“Why don’t they paddle their own canoe,” one voter asked. “I’ve got other fish to fry. We can cry over spilled milk until the cows come home and nothing is going to change. We’re all in the same boat. They got us on our Achilles heel, and we’re just going to have to root hog or die…”
—
Top o’ the morning!